


One Piece PETs: The Return of Alucard

by moonlitinuyasha1985, XFangHeartX



Series: One Piece PETs [231]
Category: Hellsing, One Piece
Genre: Anthropomorphic, F/M, Halloween, Halloween Costumes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 10:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8663398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlitinuyasha1985/pseuds/moonlitinuyasha1985, https://archiveofourown.org/users/XFangHeartX/pseuds/XFangHeartX
Summary: The vampire king returns. Takes place post-timeskip.





	

**One Piece PETs: The Return of Alucard**

 

(I do not, nor will I EVER, own One Piece. This spine-chilling series belongs to Ze Great Eiichiro Oda.)

 

 

*****October 31st, 2016*****

 

    Tonight was Halloween, but at the moment, it was midday, and Luffy was very excited to go trick-or-treating tonight...although, there's just one tiny problem.

 

"We're not going trick-or-treating this year, Luffy."

 

"WHAT?!!"

 

Luffy was in the kitchen with Nami, who put bags of candy in a bowl to hand out to trick-or-treaters.

 

"Why not?!" Luffy asked.

 

"Luffy, every time we get candy, you end up eating too much and get sick to your stomach!" Nami answered.

 

"But they're so good!" Luffy argued. "Especially the gummy worms, Nami~!"

 

"Luffy, we're not going trick-or-treating and that is FINAL!" Nami shouted. "You can wear your costume if you want, but you're not getting candy!"

 

"Phooey!" Luffy pouted.

 

"Luffy, I'm doing this for your own good." Nami explained. "And not just yours, but Aika's too."

 

"But why me?" Aika inquired.

 

"Well, Aika, you might decide to copy Luffy and eat too much candy, too," Nami answered.

 

"But I don't get tummy aches like Big Brother does," Aika rebuked.

 

"No, but you can get cavities," Nami countered.

 

"But I always brush my teeth," Aika rebutted.

 

"Even so, you might try and share your candy with Luffy." Nami added. "I'm not taking chances."

 

"You're no fun!" Luffy pouted.

 

"Keep that attitude up and I won't give you your reward for behaving." Nami chided.

 

"Okay, I'll behave." Luffy obeyed.

 

"Well, we can still wear our costumes, right?" Aika asked.

 

"Of course, honey." Nami answered with a nod.

 

"Well...I guess it's not a total loss," Luffy spoke.

 

"There you go." Nami smiled.

 

However...she didn't realize Luffy had his fingers crossed behind his back.

 

*****Short timeskip brought to you by Sango slapping Miroku for groping her butt (An Inuyasha reference)*****

 

Night had fallen, and on the _Thousand Sunny_ , the festivities were in full swing.

 

There was treats, music, games, and most important, costumes.

 

Usopp was dressed as Fear from _Inside Out_.

 

"I lost a bet," Usopp spoke up, "so I have to dress up as Fear."

 

Chopper was Stitch from _Lilo & Stitch_.

 

"Sorry you lost the bet, Usopp." he piped up. "I guess nobody can last when it comes to sitting in a room for ten minutes with Blizzard's farts."

 

Usopp shuddered in disgust.

 

"The horror...!" he whispered. "The sheer and absolute horror...!"

 

"Idiots," Sanji muttered. He was dressed as Viral from _Gurren Lagann_. "Anyway," Sanji began, "has anybody seen Luffy?"

 

"Ah, I heard he was still bummed out about not going trick-or-treating tonight," Usopp answered, "so he locked himself up in the Men's Quarters."

 

"What a baby." Sanji remarked. "Doesn't he know that Nami's doing this for his own good?"

 

"Apparently not." Usopp shrugged.

 

"Oh, please," spoke Zoro, dressed as Shang from _Mulan_ , "If you ask me, he's too old for trick-or-treating to begin with."

 

"You're never too old for trick-or-treating, Zoro." Robin piped up, dressed as Mulan.

 

"Yeah, man!" Franky exclaimed, dressed up as Baymax. "It's called embracing your inner child!"

 

"Whatever." Zoro rolled his eye.

 

Blizzard, his fur painted to look like Ame from _Wolf Children_ , only yawned.

 

 _"Meh."_ he murmured. _"I couldn't care less."_

 

Where were the little ones, you ask?

 

They went to check on Luffy.

 

Aika was dressed up as Tinker Bell while Kumi was dressed up as Eevee.

 

"Big Brother!" the Wolf Girl called. "Can we come in?"

 

No answer.

 

"Big Brother?" Aika asked in concern.

 

 _"Hmm..."_ Kumi hummed before she went in using the doggy door, but when she entered, she gasped upon seeing a familiar red suited-figure, seemingly climbing in through a window. _"YIKES!! IT'S ALUCARD!!!"_

 

"Alucard?!" Aika asked as she entered through the doggy door, too...only to see that it was not the legendary vampire, but rather Luffy, dressed as Alucard. "Oh. It's only Big Brother." Aika heaved a relieved sigh.

 

 _"How scary would it be if that were the real Alucard?"_ Kumi asked.

 

"Very." Aika answered. "I still have nightmares from when he scared us, last Halloween."

 

 _"Luffy, what are you doing, anyway?"_ Kumi asked.

 

"What's it look like?" Luffy asked. "I'm sneaking outta here to go trick-or-treating."

 

"But Big Sis Nami said that you can't!" Aika replied.

 

"That's why I'm sneaking out." Luffy countered. "And you're going with me."

 

"But--" Aika started.

 

"C'mon, Aika," Luffy interjected, "You gotta admit, no trick-or-treating sounds like a dumb move on Nami's part. You were pretty disappointed, too, when she said no trick-or-treating, right?"

 

"...Well...I guess a little disappointed," Aika muttered, "but I still think that this is a bad idea!"

 

 _"That's right!"_ Kumi added. _"You know how much trouble we'll be in?!"_

 

"She'll never know!" Luffy answered. "We'll be back before she suspects something!"

 

Aika and Kumi glanced at each other worriedly.

 

"Life moves fast," Luffy added, "Are you in or out?"

 

"...I guess it wouldn't hurt," Aika answered, "we're in."

 

"Great!" Luffy grinned. "Let's go!"

 

With that, they climbed out the window and headed out into town.

 

*****Short timeskip brought to you by Hikaru and Kaoru's "fight" (An Ouran High School Host Club reference)*****

 

"WHOO-HOO!!" Luffy cheered. "TRICK-OR-TREATING!!!"

 

Aika smiled at her older half-brother's enthusiasm.

 

 _"Which house should we go to?"_ Kumi asked, her treat bag in her teeth.

 

"Ooh!" Aika exclaimed. "That one has Halloween sugar cookies!"

 

"Let's go!" Luffy declared.

 

Soon, they approached the house, but the moment the woman who was handing out cookies saw Luffy, she shrieked in fright.

 

"ALUCARD!!!" she cried as she ran inside her house and locked the door. "GO AWAY!!!"

 

"Huh?" Luffy muttered. "But it's just a costume!"

 

"Um...excuse me, Miss?" Aika asked. "May we please have our cookies?"

 

"No! Not as long as he's here!!" shouted the woman.

 

"But that's not the real Alucard," Aika replied, "That's my brother!"

 

The woman slowly opened the door.

 

"A...are you sure?" she asked.

 

"I'm very sure." Aika answered.

 

"A-All right." the woman complied as she opened her door to give the trio their candy. "I'm sorry about how I acted."

 

"That's okay," Luffy replied, "I'm used to it, anyway."

 

"Oh..." muttered the woman. "I'm so sorry, it's just that..."

 

"I get it," Luffy told her, "Alucard's a pretty scary guy."

 

 _"I'll say he is!"_ Kumi exclaimed. _"He scared me and Aika!"_

 

"He sure did," Aika added, "but at least he won't show up this year."

 

"Thanks, lady, for the cookies!" Luffy piped up.

 

"Oh, well of course," spoke the woman, "They're my own special recipe, you know. I'm glad you like them."

 

"We love them!" Aika chirped.

 

 ***Yip! Yip!*** Kumi yipped in agreement.

 

 _'Wonder how Big Sis Nami and the others are doing.'_ Aika pondered, eating a cookie.

 

*****Short timeskip brought to you by Aladdin breaking Morgiana's chains (A Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic reference)*****

 

"Has anyone seen Luffy?" Nami asked. She was dressed as Seras Victoria.

 

"He's locked up in the Men's Quarters," Zoro answered.

 

"Seriously?" Nami asked. "Is he still moping about what I said?"

 

"Yup." Usopp answered.

 

"Oh, Great Ceiling Cat..." Nami muttered. "I'll go talk to him."

 

With that, she walked up to the door to the Men's Quarters and knocked on it.

 

"Luffy?" Nami called. "Come on, this is ridiculous. Will you please come out?"

 

No answer.

 

"Luffy, seriously!" Nami called. "I just wanna talk with you!"

 

Still no answer.

 

"All right, that's it!" Nami kicked down the door, only to gasp upon seeing that Luffy was not within. "Oh, you're kidding me."

 

We are not kidding you, Nami. Luffy left.

 

"Umm...Nami?" Usopp asked. "I can't find Aika and Kumi."

 

Nami heaved an exasperated sigh as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "This couldn't possibly get any worse."

 

"Oh~, Straw Hat and the little ones aren't here? Well that's too bad. I was really looking forward to seeing them again."

 

"...Usopp, please tell me that that was your Alucard voice." Nami spoke.

 

"...Sorry, Nami...!" Usopp squeaked in fear.

 

Nami slowly looked over her shoulder and sitting on the ship's railings was the Vampire King, himself.

 

" **WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!** " Usopp screamed. " **IT'S ALUCARD!!!!** "

 

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!** " Brook shrieked.

 

"What the hell are you doing here!?" Zoro questioned.

 

"I just thought I'd stop by...and visit my _favorite_ rookie pirates." Alucard answered.

 

"Mommy...!!" Chopper squeaked.

 

Blizzard growled viciously at Alucard.

 

"Ah~, SHADDUP!!!" Alucard shouted as he hit Blizzard's muzzle with the back of his hand.

 

 ***YIPE!!*** Blizzard yelped.

 

"Blizzard!" Chopper cried.

 

"Snowy!" Franky also cried.

 

"So...where are the captain and those two pups?" Alucard asked.

 

"They left." Robin answered.

 

"ROBIN, DON'T TELL HIM THAT!!!" Nami cried.

 

"And when will they be back?" Alucard inquired.

 

"Why's it any of your business?!" Nami questioned.

 

"Because we can't start the party without them, that's why." Alucard answered.

 

*****Short timeskip brought to you by Meliodas vs. Gilthunder (A Seven Deadly Sins reference)*****

 

"Look at all the candy we got!" Aika exclaimed, her bag filled with candy.

 

"I know, right?!" Luffy asked, looking at his bag full of candy.

 

 _"You're not gonna try and eat it all at once like you do every time, right?"_ Kumi asked. _"Because that's what Nami said that you do."_

 

"Kumi, I'm not gonna eat it all at once." Luffy assured. "Only idiots do that."

 

Kumi was about to say something, until Luffy cut her off. "Don't say it." he told her.

 

 _"Okay, I won't,"_ Kumi answered.

 

"Anyway, let's head on back." Luffy added. "Nami's probably noticed we're gone, by now."

 

"Yeah." Aika agreed. "I just hope she won't yell at me."

 

*****Short timeskip brought to you by Ban's terrific cooking (A Seven Deadly Sins reference)*****

 

"Hey, guys!" Luffy called. "We're back!"

 

"Luffy! Aika! Kumi!" Nami cried, running to the trio. "Oh, thank the Great Ceiling Cat!!"

 

"Hi, Big Sis!" Aika greeted as Nami picked her up and hugged her. "I hope you're not mad at me."

 

"Oh, no, sweetheart, I'm not mad at you," Nami playfully rubbed noses with Aika, then shot a glare at Luffy, "I am, however, mad at your brother."

 

"Oh, boy," Luffy murmured, "Now, Nami, I can explain--"

 

"Hello, Straw Hat."

 

Luffy looked up to see Alucard.

 

"Oh, hey, Al." he greeted the Vampire King casually. "What're you doing here?"

 

"BE SERIOUS, YOU IDIOT!!!" Usopp shouted.

 

"What?" Luffy asked. "It's just Al."

 

"AAAAAAAH!!!" Aika and Kumi screamed as they hid behind Luffy. "ALUCARD!!!!"

 

"Aika, Kumi, relax," Luffy assured, "he's not gonna scare you like he did last year. Right, Al?"

 

"...Maybe," Alucard grinned, toothily.

 

"Haa..!" Aika sighed as she fainted.

 

"Oh, god!" Usopp cried. "Aika pulled a Hinata!"

 

"Heh heh heh." Alucard chuckled. "Oops."

 

"Not cool, dude," Luffy spoke.

 

"Seriously." Sanji added.

 

Kumi was licking Aika's face, trying to wake her up.

 

 _"C'mon, Aika! Wake up!"_ she cried.

 

"Unh...!" Aika groaned as she regained consciousness. "What happened?"

 

"Hello, little Aika." Alucard greeted, flashing his teeth.

 

"AAAAAAAHHH!!!" Aika screamed, grabbing Kumi and hiding behind Luffy. "BIG BROTHER, SAVE US!!!"

 

"Aika, relax," Luffy told her, "Al won't bother us."

 

"Promise?" Aika asked, looking up at her older half-brother.

 

"Promise." Luffy answered.

 

At that moment, Seras Victoria (the real one) had appeared from behind Alucard.

 

"Hi." she greeted the Straw Hats. "It's very nice to meet all of you."

 

"Hmm?" Luffy hummed. "Who's that?"

 

"Oh, just my humble servant, Seras," Alucard answered.

 

"She's gorgeous!" Sanji swooned, his eye in the shape of a heart.

 

"Oh, boy," Zoro muttered.

 

"Eh?" Aika poked her head from behind Luffy to see Seras.

 

At that moment, Seras noticed her and smiled.

 

"Hello," she greeted, causing Aika to gasp before she hid behind Luffy again, "ah, it's all right. I won't hurt you, love."

 

Hesitantly, Aika came out from hiding.

 

"There we go," Seras spoke.

 

Aika's right ear swiveled as she looked at the female vampire. Then, she smiled a bit.

 

"Shishishishi!" Luffy laughed. "That's better!"

 

And the party began, soon after. As the festivities went on, some trick-or-treaters came by.

 

"Trick or Treat!" they exclaimed.

 

"My, what scary costumes!" Robin exclaimed.

 

"Thank you!" one little girl, dressed as Maleficent, smiled.

 

"Here you go," Robin added, handing out candy, "Happy Halloween."

 

"Thanks!" replied a boy dressed as Batman.

 

    They soon left, leaving the Straw Hats to enjoy their party...or, at least a few of them were enjoying it. The Weakling Trio, plus Brook, were still nervous about Alucard being on the _Sunny_.

 

"Why is he here, dude?!" Usopp asked.

 

"Because I can be wherever I want to be, _God_ Usopp." Alucard answered.

 

"AAH!!" Usopp yelped.

 

Alucard chuckled, standing right behind the sniper. "You're rather jumpy for a god."

 

"Yeah, and you're a jerk...!" Usopp muttered.

 

"And proud of it." Alucard added, triumphantly.

 

Ahem.

 

Anyway, Aika and Kumi were talking with Seras.

 

"So...you're a vampire?" Aika asked. "But you don't look as scary as Alucard."

 

"I get that a lot," Seras answered, "but I can actually be very terrifying when I have to be."

 

"Really?" Aika asked.

 

"Mm-hmm," Seras nodded.

 

 _"You're also a lot nicer than Alucard,"_ Kumi added, _"It's hard to believe you're his servant."_

 

"I get that a lot, too." Seras smiled.

 

Kumi smiled and wagged her tail.

 

"Hm," Seras lightly chuckled, "You're cute."

 

 _"Thanks!"_ Kumi yipped.

 

"What about me?" Aika asked.

 

"You're cute, too." Seras answered.

 

"Aika prides herself on her cuteness," Luffy spoke.

 

"I sure do!" Aika confirmed. "Shishishishi!"

 

"I've seen cuter." Alucard chimed in.

 

Aika gasped at this.

 

"Master!" Seras cried. "Don't worry, love. He's just teasing!"

 

"Yeah. Teasing." Alucard added, dryly.

 

"Don't listen to him, Aika," Luffy spoke up, "we think you're cute."

 

"Yeah, who cares what he thinks?" Nami asked.

 

Aika made a small smile at this.

 

"Shishishishi!" she giggled.

 

"So, everyone's okay with Alucard here on the _Thousand Sunny_?" Zoro inquired.

 

"Apparently so," Robin answered.

 

"I'm not...!" Usopp squeaked.

 

"Neither am I!" Chopper added.

 

"I'm okay with him here." Luffy shrugged. "As long as he doesn't try anything, that is."

 

"Which he won't." Seras assured.

 

"Good," Luffy spoke, "If he tries to eat my sister or my friends, he's asking for it!"

 

"You don't have to worry, because I don't find any of them all that appetizing in the slightest." Alucard chimed in. "In fact, they make me sick just looking at them."

 

"HEY!!!" the Straw Hats, sans Robin, shouted.

 

"So we're not good enough for you, huh?!" Brook questioned.

 

"Yes." Alucard answered, bluntly.

 

"Ah!" Brook scoffed, offended. "I cannot believe what I am hearing!!!"

 

"Which is ironic, considering you don't _have_ ears." Alucard quipped.

 

Brook gasped, and then the next moment, he was on the deck on all fours, sulking.

 

"He stole my skull joke..." the Skeletal Horse Man whimpered.

 

"Oh, Brook." Aika spoke, patting his back.

 

Alucard stood by, smirking at Brook's misery.

 

"Oh, boy," Nami muttered.

 

"Harsh." Usopp noted.

 

"Master, was that really necessary?" asked Seras.

 

"Maybe," Alucard answered.

 

Seras only sighed. "For goodness sake," she muttered.

 

"Brook? Buddy?" Franky called. "You gonna be okay?"

 

"I will be...!" Brook whimpered. "Eventually...!"

 

 _"Not his night,"_ Blizzard muttered.

 

 _"Nope."_ concurred Kumi.

 

"Brook," Aika spoke up, patting the musician's back, "it'll be okay."

 

"Thank you, Aika...!" Brook whispered.

 

"So, Al," Luffy asked, "how're things?"

 

"Oh, you know," Alucard answered, "scaring the s*** out of others, shooting monsters' brains out, that sort of thing."

 

"Ah." Luffy uttered. "Right."

 

"Eww...!" Aika grimaced.

 

 _"Ditto...!"_ Kumi agreed, also grimacing.

 

"Seriously?" Nami asked. "There are kids, right here!"

 

"So?" Alucard replied.

 

"...Aika, Kumi, why don't you two just go to your rooms?" Nami asked.

 

"But we wanna stay and have fun!" Aika complained.

 

"Not if he's here," Nami replied, pointing at Alucard.

 

"Ah, poo." Aika pouted. "I wanted to spend more time with Miss Seras."

 

"I'd like to spend time with you, too, love," concurred Seras, "but your older sister's very adamant about you and your pup going to your room."

 

"Big Brother~!" Aika whined.

 

"I think Nami's right about this one, Aika," Luffy responded.

 

"Phooey." Aika pouted.

 

 _"What she said."_ Kumi also pouted.

 

With that, Aika and Kumi headed to their room.

 

"Now that the pups are out of the way, the grownups can have some real fun." Alucard spoke.

 

"...I'm not sure I like the sound of that," Usopp muttered.

 

"Me, either." Chopper agreed.

 

"Yo...yohoho...!" Brook chuckled, nervously. "I just hope he doesn't steal another skull joke of mine."

 

(A/N: Keep dreaming, baby.)

 

"A bit 'bone-chilling', huh?" Alucard asked. "Of course it would be, seeing as how you're all bones."

 

"GAAAAAAHH!!!" Brook cried. "HE DID IT AGAIN!!!!"

 

The poor musician was on the ground, sulking again.

 

"Hey, it could be a lot worse," Zoro shrugged.

 

"How?" Brook asked, tearfully.

 

"What are those?" asked Seras, pointing to some Marine battleships approaching.

 

"Those would be a couple Marine battleships." Usopp answered. "THANKS A LOT, ZORO!!"

 

"Franky!" Luffy called. "Battle stations!!"

 

"You got it, captain!" Franky replied as he aimed his left arm at one of the Marine battleships. "Weapons--"

 

At that moment, Alucard held his hand out, blocking Franky's arm.

 

"That won't be necessary," he told him, "Seras."

 

"Yes, master." Seras obeyed, readying the _Harkonnen_.

 

"Huh?" Usopp muttered.

 

Seras fired a round and ***BOOM!!!*** a battleship was destroyed.

 

"EH?!!" Usopp questioned.

 

 _"Holy crap!"_ Blizzard exclaimed. _"What just happened?!!"_

 

"Now it's my turn," Alucard grinned as he went over to one of the ships, "Trick-or-Treat~!!"

 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!" the Marines screamed in terror. "ALUCARD~!!!!!"

 

Alucard chuckled in his usual sinister manner, and he began the brutal slaughter of each and every one of the Marine soldiers.

 

"...Okay, I can't believe I'm saying this," Zoro began, "but I actually feel like I'm gonna puke!"

 

Luffy was already throwing up over the ship's railing.

 

"Oh, god...!" he groaned.

 

"Holy...!" Sanji whispered.

 

"Good thing Aika and Kumi aren't around to see this," Nami added.

 

"See what?" Aika asked, with Kumi right next to her.

 

"AAAHH!!!" the Straw Hats yelped. "AIKA!!!"

 

"What?" Aika asked.

 

"Don't look!" Nami answered, covering the pups' eyes.

 

"Hey!!" Aika cried. "What's going on?!"

 

"Nothing you need to know!" Luffy shouted.

 

"Okay!" Aika replied. "...So can I have some candy?"

 

"...Hold it," Nami remembered, "That reminds me...Luffy, you went behind my back!!"

 

"Uh...Nami?" Luffy asked. "Is now really a good time for that?"

 

"Yes, I think it is!" Nami answered. "You promised that you wouldn't go trick-or-treating!"

 

"I had my fingers crossed!" Luffy countered.

 

"...Really?" Alucard asked, holding a severed head. "They're arguing while I'm slaughtering someone?"

 

"That's your excuse!?" Nami questioned. "You're really going with that?!"

 

"C'mon, Nami," Luffy began, "you gotta admit, you were a little unfair!"

 

"I only did it so you wouldn't get another stomachache!" Nami rebuked. "Plus, you've got Aika sneaking out, too!!"

 

"She's a kid! She's supposed to go out trick-or-treating!" Luffy replied. "You'd deprive a little girl of that?!"

 

"You think I wanted to do that?!" Nami asked. "I was only doing it for her own good!!"

 

"Can I say something?" Aika asked.

 

"Not now, Aika, grownups are talking," Nami answered.

 

"Okay." Aika obeyed.

 

"Luffy, you forget that Aika's my sister, too!" Nami argued. "You can't just have her undermine me, like that!"

 

"You're not her mom!" Luffy argued. "And you're not my mom, either!"

 

"No, I'm your fiance!" Nami countered.

 

"And since when does that give you the right to tell me what to do?!" Luffy questioned.

 

"ENOUGH ALREADY!!!" Alucard roared, causing Luffy to yelp as he jumped in Nami's arms. "YOU'RE BOTH IN THE WRONG!!!"

 

"Jeez, man, no need to bite our heads off!!" Luffy cried.

 

"Scary...!" Aika squeaked.

 

"Look, Straw Hat," Alucard started, "first off, I understand you like to do something as childish as Trick-or-Treating, but your girlfriend...or maybe your master..."

 

"Hey!" Nami snapped.

 

"Is just looking out for you," Alucard concluded, "And as for you, Little Miss Navigator, you don't have to be so controlling!!"

 

"I am not controlling!" Nami argued.

 

"You kinda are," Luffy pointed out, "Especially when things don't go your way."

 

"That's true." Usopp agreed.

 

"Well, somebody's gotta keep idiots like you in line!!" Nami shouted.

 

"Ah!" Usopp yelped.

 

"...Although, I admit," Nami confessed, "I can be controlling. I can be a little...cynical, sometimes...and I do tend to lose my temper, especially when someone does the exact opposite of what I tell them to do! But...isn't it my job to look after everybody?"

 

"Yes." Aika answered. "We know, Big Sis Nami."

 

"...I never thought of it like that," Luffy spoke.

 

"It's fine," Nami told him, "most people don't see it that way."

 

"Oh, Nami," Robin spoke up.

 

Blizzard whined a little, nudging the navigator.

 

"Oh, gag me," Alucard muttered.

 

"Jerk." spoke Sanji. "Way to ruin a moment."

 

"Right?" Brook asked, having snapped out of his funk.

 

"Whatever," answered Alucard.

 

"That's it?" Brook asked. "You're not going to steal any more of my skull jokes?"

 

"Don't get used to it." Alucard told him. "I'm just not in the mood, right now."

 

Anyhoo...

 

"Look," Nami started, "I'm sorry I banned trick-or-treating. I was just doing what was best for Aika and you, all along."

 

"We forgive you, Nami." Luffy replied.

 

"Yeah!" Aika chirped.

 

Nami smiled at her fiance and her younger sister, and she hugged them both.

 

Seras smiled warmly at the heartwarming scene before her.

 

"How sweet," she noted.

 

Most of you are wondering what happened to the rest of the Marines.

 

"Fire!"

 

***KABOOM!!***

 

A cannon had been shot.

 

"Ah, crap!" Usopp cursed. "What do we do?!"

 

"Seras," Alucard ordered.

 

"Yes, master." Seras obeyed, aiming her cannon at a Marine battleship. "Oh, and cover the little ones' eyes, please."

 

Nami and Blizzard covered Aika and Kumi's eyes.

 

"Good," Seras smiled before she fired her cannon.

 

 ***BOOM!!!*** The battleship was destroyed.

 

"Whoa!" Chopper exclaimed. "Did you see that?!"

 

 _"I did!"_ Blizzard answered. _"I certainly did!"_

 

Seras aimed at the next ship, fired, and ***KABOOM!!!*** The Straw Hats ended up covering their ears from the noise.

 

"My poor ears!" Chopper cried.

 

"What?!" Luffy shouted.

 

There was one battleship left.

 

"You know what to do," Alucard spoke.

 

"Right." Seras nodded, aiming her cannon. "Here we go, again."

 

 ***BOOM!!!*** She fired, and ***KABOOM!!!*** The battleship exploded!

 

"Holy shrimp!!!" Usopp shouted.

 

"Whoa!!!" Luffy cried.

 

"What happened?!" Aika asked. "I can't see!!"

 

"Don't worry about it, dear," Seras called, "You're too young to see these things, anyway."

 

"Okay, Miss Seras." Aika replied. "I won't look."

 

"Well, that's the last of them," added Seras, "so, shall we get back to the party?"

 

"Why not?" Luffy asked.

 

"Good." Seras smiled.

 

The party resumed, soon after.

 

"I love your costume, by the way, Nami," Seras commented.

 

"I hope you don't think I'm copying you," Nami answered.

 

"Not at all," Seras responded, "I think it's a good look for you."

 

"Thank you." Nami replied.

 

"Not a problem," Seras smiled.

 

"Miss Seras?" Aika asked.

 

"Yes, love?" Seras asked, kneeling down to Aika's height level.

 

"Why's Mr. Alucard so mean?" the Wolf Girl inquired.

 

"Because he's a vampire, love," answered Seras.

 

"Aside from that," Aika clarified, "Is it because he doesn't have friends?"

 

"To be honest, I don't really know," Seras answered, "but if you look past all of that, he's actually really nice!"

 

"I am not," Alucard retorted.

 

"He is." Seras whispered. "He just doesn't show it, often."

 

"...I'm not seeing it." Aika spoke.

 

 _"Same here,"_ Kumi added.

 

"Most people don't, at first." Seras clarified. "It's hard to, especially with someone like him."

 

"No surprise there." Usopp chimed in. "I mean, look at the guy!"

 

Alucard stood there, just staring off into space.

 

"See what I mean?" Usopp asked. "That's so creepy!"

 

"He's just staring off into space," Luffy pointed out, "What's he thinking about?"

 

"You don't want to know." Seras answered. "Trust me."

 

"We'll take your word for it." Brook spoke.

 

"That guy gives me the creeps," admitted Zoro.

 

"Me, too." Nami added.

 

"I _can_ hear you," Alucard spoke up, "I'm not deaf you know."

 

"Sorry, Master." Seras apologized. "Won't happen again."

 

"Anyway," Luffy began, "I don't see anything creepy about him, Usopp."

 

"Of course you don't," Usopp deadpanned.

 

"No surprise." Sanji added. "Of course you'd think that's cool."

 

"Eh." Luffy shrugged. "Whatevs."

 

Nami sighed. "Oh, boy," she muttered, "The things I put up with."

 

"How do you think we feel?" Zoro asked.

 

Seras chuckled.

 

"Hey, Seras," Luffy called, "You like candy?"

 

"I'm afraid I can't eat candy," Seras answered, "the only thing I can consume is blood."

 

"Ah, that sucks," Luffy spoke, "More for me, then!"

 

He ate one piece of candy.

 

"Ahh..." he sighed. "Good candy."

 

He attempted to reach for another piece, but he grabbed his own hand.

 

"No!!" he shouted. "Don't even think about it!!"

 

"That's right, Luffy!" Usopp said. "Fight the urge!!"

 

And fight the urge, he did.

 

"You can do it, Big Brother!!" Aika cheered.

 

 ***Yip!*** Kumi yipped.

 

"If you get sick, I'm not giving you a massage," Nami added, "no matter how much you beg!"

 

 _'But we all know that you will,'_ Zoro thought, _'seeing as how you're such a pushover.'_

 

"I heard that, Zoro," Nami spoke.

 

"Damn." Zoro cursed. "I gotta learn to stop thinking out loud."

 

That, you do, Zoro.

 

"Oh, what do you know?!" Zoro questioned.

 

"Who're you talking to, Zoro?" Franky asked.

 

"None of your beeswax," Zoro replied.

 

Ahem.

 

Back to Luffy fighting his urge to eat more candy.

 

"...I CAN'T DO IT~!!!" Luffy cried as he began to shovel candy in his mouth from his bag. "Ohhh, it's so GOOD!!"

 

"NO, LUFFY, NO!!!" Usopp shouted, making Luffy spit out the candy. "FIGHT IT!!! CONTROL YOURSELF!!!"

 

"PLEASE, LUFFY!!!" Chopper cried. "IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!"

 

"Big Brother, stop!" Aika cried, jumping on Luffy's back. "Don't make yourself sick!!"

 

 _"Yeah!"_ Kumi yipped as she bit Luffy's leg.

 

 _"Dammit!!"_ Blizzard cursed as he tried to pull Luffy away. _"Control yourself, Luffy!!"_

 

"You Animal People and your impulses," Alucard remarked.

 

"Snap! Out of! It! Man!" Usopp yelled as he slapped Luffy.

 

"Ow, ow, ow!" Luffy cried. "Okay, stop!!"

 

"Are you gonna keep eating more candy?!" Usopp asked.

 

"No, I'm not!" Luffy answered.

 

"All right, then I'll stop." Usopp said.

 

A pause...but then Luffy snatched the bag of candy and ran off with it!

 

"SUCKER!!!" he shouted.

 

"OH, COME ON!!!" Usopp hollered.

 

Just then, Luffy was tackled to the floor by a white blur.

 

 _"Not so fast, Luffy!"_ Blizzard shouted.

 

"Get off of me, Blizzard!" Luffy yelled. "Just one more piece!!"

 

"That's it!" Sanji shouted. "I've had it!"

 

"Wait, what are you doing?" Nami asked.

 

She got her answer when Sanji walked over to Luffy, and took the bag of candy away from him.

 

"My candy!" Luffy cried.

 

"This is for your own good, Luffy!" Sanji told him.

 

"No, Sanji, please!!" Luffy begged. "Not my candy!"

 

Sanji put the bag of candy in a safe, closed it, and locked it.

 

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Luffy wailed. "MY CANDY~!!!!"

 

"Sorry, Luffy," Sanji apologized, "but you need to stop this! It's not worth you getting sick, is it? If I didn't know better, I think you make yourself sick off candy on purpose just so Nami can rub your stomach for you!"

 

"What?! That's not true!" Luffy rebuked. "Nami can rub my belly anytime!"

 

"Then why do you keep eating so much candy!?" Sanji questioned.

 

"BECAUSE I CAN'T HELP IT!!" Luffy cried, comical tears in his eyes. "I'm weak, okay?!"

 

"Big Brother...!" Aika whispered, feeling the utmost sympathy for her older half-brother.

 

"Oh, cry me a river," Alucard chimed in, "I thought you were off candy, last Halloween?"

 

"I caved, all right?!" Luffy retorted. "I mean...if something like that makes you sick, why do they make it taste so good?!"

 

"Because they're sadists?" Robin inquired.

 

"Perhaps," Alucard concurred.

 

Sanji sighed.

 

"Listen, Luffy," he began, "You gotta learn some self control."

 

"Don't you think I've tried that?" Luffy asked. "It's not easy."

 

"Why don't you let us help you, Big Brother?" Aika inquired. "Pretty please?"

 

"...Okay." Luffy answered. "I hope it works, though."

 

"Relax, buddy," Usopp placed a hand on his captain's shoulder, "That's what friends are for!"

 

 _"Yeah,"_ added Blizzard, _"Even if they do stupid stuff."_

 

Luffy smiled. "Thanks, guys," he spoke.

 

"You don't have to thank us," replied Usopp, "It's what we do."

 

Seras couldn't help smiling at the heartwarming sight. Alucard looked like he couldn't care less. "Eh."

 

At any rate, the festivities continued. Luffy was trying his hardest not to go after the candy.

 

"You can do this, Luffy," Nami encouraged her captain, "Just fight the urge."

 

Luffy took in a deep breath, and he exhaled.

 

"Thanks, Nami," he spoke.

 

"Anytime, my dear captain." Nami replied as she rested her head on his shoulder.

 

Alucard gagged, sticking his finger in his mouth.

 

"It's not that bad, Master." Seras said. "I think it's kind of cute!"

 

"Apparently, you and I have different opinions on what's cute." Alucard muttered. "In fact, I don't find anything cute at all."

 

"I've known that for a long time." Seras noted. "Still, it'd be nice to see you smile."

 

"Hey!" Sanji called. "It's time for the Scariest Costume Contest!"

 

"Ooh!" Aika chirped. "I love that part!"

 

"First up, we have Usopp!" Sanji spoke through a microphone.

 

Usopp begrudgingly stepped up, glaring at Sanji. "I hate you so much."

 

"Do something scary!" Aika called.

 

"But Fear's not scary," Usopp told her, "He's the exact opposite."

 

"Well, act scared!" Luffy called.

 

"I don't even have to act for that," Usopp replied, "Just watch."

 

He instantly took off, screaming.

 

"Thanks!" Luffy called. "That's all we wanted!"

 

"And up next is the always sexy Nami!" Sanji exclaimed as Nami went up on stage.

 

Nami smirked, running her hands through her hair.

 

"Go Big Sis!" Aika cheered.

 

"WHOO~!!!" Luffy hollered. "YOU ROCK, NAMI!!!!"

 

Nami blew a kiss to him in response, which landed right onto his cheek.

 

"Next up is the gorgeous Robin!" Sanji announced.

 

Robin stepped up on stage, drawing her fake sword as she did.

 

"Epic." Zoro grinned.

 

Robin winked at Zoro, who blushed.

 

"Hm," she chuckled.

 

"Next up, Moss-head," Sanji spoke in a deadpan tone, "yay."

 

"Ah, go fuck yourself, Curly Brows." Zoro retorted as he got up on stage.

 

Sanji only growled at him.

 

"Boys, no fighting." Robin gently scolded. "We're only here to have fun."

 

"Yes, Robin." Zoro and Sanji complied.

 

"Shishishi!" Aika giggled.

 

"Hush, you." Zoro glared.

 

"Me?" Aika asked, blinking innocently.

 

"Yes, you." Zoro answered. "And don't play innocent like Nami."

 

"But I'm not playing." Aika spoke.

 

"Yeah, right." Zoro replied, not believing her.

 

"Up next, Chopper!" Sanji announced.

 

Chopper stepped up on the stage, being his cute self.

 

"Awww~!" Nami, Robin, and Aika cooed.

 

"What an adorable reindeer!" Seras added.

 

"Finally, someone gets it right!!" Chopper exclaimed.

 

"And up next is Franky!" Sanji added. "Get up here, man!"

 

"SU~PER~!!!!" Franky hollered, getting up on the stage and doing his signature pose.

 

"WHOO~!!!" Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and Brook cheered. "YOU ROCK, FRANKY!!!"

 

The girls only stared blankly. Hell, even Alucard was not amused.

 

"Feh," he scoffed.

 

"Up next is Brook!" Sanji added.

 

"Yohohohoho!" Brook chortled as he got on stage. "Thank you, Sanji!"

 

"Yeah!!" Luffy cheered. "Way to go, Brook!!"

 

"And we can't forget about Blizzard!"

 

Blizzard leapt up on stage, letting out a howl.

 

"Yay, Blizzard!" Aika cheered.

 

Kumi yipped in excitement.

 

"Next are the adorable Aika and Kumi!"

 

Aika and Kumi got up on stage, showing off their costumes.

 

"That's my little sis!" Luffy cheered.

 

"We love you, Aika!" Nami added.

 

"Hehe!" Aika giggled.

 

"Hmph," Alucard scoffed, "I've seen better."

 

"GAH!!!" Brook cried, as if those words had stabbed him. "Your words are like a knife to my heart!"

 

"If you _had_ a heart." Alucard retorted.

 

Brook fell down, sulking once again.

 

"He stole my Skull Joke, again...!" he whimpered.

 

"Way harsh, dude," Luffy noted.

 

"Seriously." Sanji added.

 

"Brook," Aika sympathized as she patted the Skeletal Horse Man on his back. "It's okay. Don't let Mr. Alucard get to you."

 

"Thank you, Aika...!" Brook whispered.

 

Aika smiled as she hugged him.

 

"And finally, last but not least," Sanji began, "our captain, Monkey D. Luffy~!!"

 

Luffy got onto the stage, with Aika and Kumi cheering for him.

 

"YEAH!!!" Luffy shouted.

 

"YOU GO, BABY!!!" Nami cheered.

 

"...Actually, that's not too shabby," Alucard mused, "not as good as me, but it's not bad."

 

"That's the closest thing to a compliment you'll get from him," Seras pointed out.

 

"Good enough for me." Luffy shrugged. "Shishishishi!"

 

"I thought this was a Scary Costume Contest, though," added Alucard as he stepped on the stage, "You wanna see scary?"

 

"Oh, no," Seras muttered in dread, covering Aika and Kumi's eyes, "Master, please don't!"

 

Alucard gave his signature toothy grin.

 

"Why do I feel like this whole story's taking a really bad turn?" Sanji asked.

 

"Because it has?" Nami answered, nervously.

 

"I don't know what's going on," Aika spoke, "I'm scared, even though I don't know what's going on!"

 

 _"Me, too!"_ Kumi piped up.

 

"Easy there, Al," Luffy chimed in, "don't wanna traumatize the little ones."

 

At that point...Alucard transformed into his Level One release form.

 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Brook screamed at the top of his lungs.

 

"OH MY GOD!!!!" Nami shrieked as she jumped in Luffy's arms.

 

"MOMMY~!!!!!" Chopper screamed, hiding behind Blizzard.

 

"SWEET MERCIFUL HEAVEN!!!!" Usopp cried.

 

"JESUS CHRIST!!!" Franky screamed. "WHAT IS THAT?!!"

 

"That would be Master's Level One form." Seras answered. "It's not that scary to me, anyway."

 

"No kidding!" Usopp cried. "You're a vampire, so of course, it wouldn't bother you!"

 

"What's happening?" Aika asked. "What's going on?! I hear screaming!"

 

"You don't wanna know, Aika." Luffy answered. "Trust me on this."

 

"Okay, Big Brother." Aika complied. "If you say so."

 

Just then... ***BONG! BONG! BONG!***

 

"What was that?" Nami asked.

 

"Sounds like a clock," Sanji answered, "Where's it coming from?"

 

"Who knows?" Brook asked.

 

Seras and Alucard, however, only looked up at the sky.

 

"Miss Seras?" Aika asked. "What is it?"

 

"Is something wrong?" Nami asked.

 

"Why're you looking up at the sky like that?" Usopp inquired. "What's happening?!"

 

"Midnight." Seras answered. "Halloween's over."

 

"Awww, already?" Aika asked.

 

"Yes, love." Seras answered, petting the Wolf Girl. "Sorry, but it's time for my Master and I to go."

 

"And it's your bedtime, little lady," Nami added.

 

"Aww, but I'm not..." Aika started, only to trail off and yawn. "I'm...not..."

 

"You should listen to your older sister, Aika." Seras advised. "All good children should go to sleep when they're told."

 

"Otherwise the Bogeyman will eat them," added Alucard, causing Aika and Kumi to yelp in fright.

 

"Master!!" Seras chided.

 

"Heh heh heh," Alucard chuckled, evilly, "I love scaring the shit out of children."

 

Aika was clinging tightly to Robin, who gently petted her head.

 

"It's all right, sweetie," she soothed, "The Bogeyman won't hurt you."

 

Aika sniffled as she glanced up at Robin.

 

"Promise?" she asked.

 

"I promise." Robin answered.

 

Aika smiled at this. "Thank you."

 

"Hey!!" Usopp shouted. "What happened to the candy Sanji put away?!"

 

"It's in the safe, dude." Zoro answered.

 

"That's what I mean!!" Usopp shouted. "The safe's gone!!!"

 

"Wait a minute," Nami spoke up as she looked around, "So is Luffy!"

 

"Ah, dammit!" Sanji cursed. "Everyone, search the whole ship!"

 

"Right!!" Brook exclaimed. "Leave no stone un-turned!!"

 

"...There aren't any stones on the _Sunny_ ," Aika spoke up.

 

"It's an expression, Aika," Brook explained, "Anyway, we have to find your brother!"

 

"Right!" Aika nodded.

 

So the Straw Hats scrambled to find Luffy.

 

"Luffy?" Nami asked as she looked in the kitchen. "You in here?"

 

"Hello?" Sanji called as he looked in the cupboard. "Luffy?"

 

Robin checked in the library, looking behind the bookshelves.

 

"No Luffy here," she spoke.

 

"Luffy?" Usopp called, looking in the Usopp factory. "Where are ya, buddy?"

 

He was not in the factory.

 

"He's not in the Crow's Nest!" Zoro called out from the Crow's Nest.

 

"And he's not in the Men's Quarters, either!" added Franky.

 

"Where could he be?" Aika asked.

 

"Perhaps I can be of assistance in finding Straw Hat?" Alucard inquired, passing through the walls.

 

Aika squeaked in fright when he did so, clinging to Seras. "Scary...!"

 

As quickly as he went in through the walls, the vampire came back out.

 

"Found him," he spoke as he looked to Aika's room, "He's in your room, kid."

 

"What's he doing in there?" Aika asked.

 

"Go see for yourself," Alucard replied.

 

Aika did just that.

 

    She went down to her room, opened the door...and there was her brother, lying in her bed with a bulging stomach, snoring away while his mouth was stained with chocolate and orange frosting. On the floor, she spotted the safe with the door torn off its hinges and a half-empty bag of candy.

 

"Oh, my gosh...!" Aika gasped.

 

The rest of the Straw Hats peeked inside, and needless to say, they didn't look that surprised.

 

"It figures," Usopp sighed, "Happens every year."

 

"Except last year," Nami pointed out.

 

"Right, except last year," Usopp rephrased.

 

"At least he doesn't have a stomachache." Chopper added. "Or maybe he already had it and he's sleeping it off."

 

"Either way, he's not moaning and groaning about it." Sanji stated with a casual shrug. "And at least he's comfortable."

 

"And he saved some candy, anyway," Aika added, looking inside the bag, "Look, there's still plenty left!"

 

 _"Cool!"_ Kumi cheered, looking into the bag.

 

"Big Sis, can we have some?" Aika asked.

 

"Just a little," Nami answered, "and then it's straight to bed."

 

"Or Luffy's stomach, in this case," Franky added, eyeing his bloated captain.

 

"Ha, good one." Usopp laughed.

 

"Thanks," Franky smiled, "it just came to me."

 

After Aika ate some candy and brushed her teeth, she got out of her costume and changed into her PJs. "Come on, Kumi."

 

 _"Okay!"_ Kumi yipped, walking along with the Wolf Girl to the latter's bed. Or rather, on Luffy's Buddha Belly.

 

"Soft." Aika whispered. "And warm, too."

 

 _"Too bad it'll be gone by morning,"_ Kumi added.

 

"Which is why we should lay on it now, while we still can." Aika stated.

 

Luffy just kept snoring, subconsciously licking the chocolate off his lips in his sleep. "Chocolate..." he muttered.

 

"Well, I'm gone," Alucard spoke up as he turned to leave, "come along, Seras."

 

"Yes, Master," Seras replied, "goodbye, everyone!"

 

"Thanks for coming!" Nami called back.

 

"With any luck, we won't see Alucard next year." Usopp added.

 

"I sure hope so," Brook piped up, "I don't know how much more my nerves can take."

 

"Although, being a skeleton, you don't have any nerves." Alucard quipped.

 

And just like that, Brook was on the floor, sulking again.

 

"Not again...!" he moaned.

 

"I love making skeletons cry," Alucard chuckled as he and Seras left.

 

"It's all right, Brook." Nami soothed, patting his back.

 

"Normally, I'd ask you if I could see your panties to make me feel better, but I don't think even that will cheer me up...!" Brook whimpered.

 

"...I don't know if I should be happy or concerned," Nami admitted.

 

"How about both?" Robin asked.

 

"You're right," Nami answered.

 

"You're the worst," Usopp spoke to Alucard.

 

"Thank you," Alucard grinned.

 

"That's not a compliment!" Usopp shouted in comical anger. "Oh, forget it."

 

"At any rate, we're off." Alucard said as he and Seras left. "See you later."

 

 _'Really hope we don't.'_ Chopper thought.

 

On that, Alucard and Seras disappeared in the blink of an eye.

 

"I'm going to bed," Zoro piped up as he went to the Men's Quarters. "Goodnight, all."

 

"Goodnight, Tiger." called Robin. "Sweet dreams."

 

The others left to retire for the night, as well.

 

*****Short timeskip brought to you by Simon trying to give out flyers (A Durarara reference)*****

 

With Alucard and Seras, they were on their way back to England.

 

"That was fun," Seras smiled, "the Straw Hats sure know how to throw a party."

 

"I've seen better," Alucard replied.

 

Seras sighed.

 

"Of course, Master."

 

_'What a party pooper.'_

 

"Though, I must admit, that Straw Hat boy certainly is interesting." Alucard grinned.

 

"Oh?" Seras asked.

 

"He may be a rookie, and he may not be the sharpest tool in the shed," Alucard added, "but...he has potential in him."

 

"Do you really think so?" Seras inquired.

 

"Even I know potential when I see it," answered Alucard, "Doesn't mean I have to like him, though."

 

 _'Thought he was going in a different direction there.'_ Seras thought. _'Oh, well. Beggars can't be choosers.'_

 

"At any rate, let's head back to Hellsing." Alucard added.

 

"Yes, Master," Seras replied.

 

The two vampires continued on their way back to the Hellsing Organization.

 

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> Figured Alucard would steal Brook's skull jokes, just to make him cry.


End file.
